Put Me Down for a Tenner

Yesterday as I was finishing breakfast, I got my second telephone call of the day from Senator Raphael Warnock’s crew asking for money.  At least they stopped with two calls per day—they usually don’t.  Actually, though, said calls were for my wife.  When I tell them she’s isn’t there, which I do even if she IS home (per instructions, of course), they either politely tell me their business and tell me they’ll call back, or they start into their spiel anyway.

Not that I’m off the hook (like the phone).  It’s just that I don’t get phone calls from the Democratic candidates but my turn will come in another couple of hours when the post arrives.  I think yesterday my final total of solicitation letters from the Dems was six, which is about the median.  There was one from a man who isn’t up for re-election for five years, and another from someone who squeals that the Republican is going to be able to outspend her by an order of magnitude.  I had just finished reading on cnn.com that she’s raised over 31 million dollars.  Her opponent has raised $600K. 

Among the constant correspondents  I didn’t hear from asking for help for their impoverished campaigns were Adam Schiff, who inhabits probably one of the top ten safest seats in Congress, or the two Tammys, Baldwin and Duckworth, neither of whom is up for re-election.

My daily goal, though, is to fill out my bingo card by hearing from the Big Five: Democratic National Committee, Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, Democratic Governors Association, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, and Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee.  And yes, it’s not unusual for me to attain this lofty status, nor is it unusual for me to receive two or three pleas from each of these groups.

So, do I give them any money?  Sure.  On the first of the month when we do our bills, I throw out the dupes, inventory what’s left, and have my wife pick a number between one and whatever (usually twenty-something) and the winner—occasionally two—gets my lavish donation of around thirty and forty bucks.  I doubt that all told, they’re making any net gain from me, but it’s their business, not mine.  In November, I shall watch the returns roll in with the reassuring knowledge that I did what I could to help them save American democracy.  And that I can start pitching all this malarkey, at least for a while.