Of Liberal Intent

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THANK GOD FOR NOT MAKING ME A WOMAN

Many orthodox Jewish males open their day by thanking God for not making them a woman. I would like to add my voice to theirs; I would like to thank God for not making me a woman.

If I were a woman:

  • I would not like math
  • I would not be able to do math
  • Statistics would be out of range of understanding of my poor, puny woman’s brain
  • I would be incapable of succeeding in a STEM field
  • I would like to wear pink, preferably all the time
  • I would want to have lots of babies
  • I would want to cuddle and love everyone else’s babies
  • I would want to be in a “caring” profession, taking care of everyone but myself
  • I would not be able to be truly creative and innovative
  • I would not be able to be funny
  • I would love make up, high heels, and lace
  • I would love shopping
  • I would love romance novels

So, since I fit absolutely none of those characteristics, the only conclusion I can draw from the messages I am being fed every single day is that I am not a woman. And for that, I would like to thank God (or DNA) that I am not, apparently, a woman.