So today I decided to dip back into my own life, back into a time when I was somewhat more hopeful…or perhaps more naive…than I can bring myself to be now. This one is changed very little, just mostly the names. Sometimes I think, you couldn’t make this stuff up. (I know I couldn’t.) And yet, I know there are a lot of people who won’t believe it. Okay, you don’t have to…but I promise you, this one is not fake news.

THE JOB

It was midnight. The office was dark, except for the small light burning at her desk. The last page…the last paragraph…the last word. It was done. Lisa tried to remember how many days she’d been working on this, but her brain seemed frozen from exhaustion. She flipped off the light, slid her feet back into the shoes under her desk, and escaped at last, ready for bed.

Morning came so early, it seemed like she’d barely gotten to sleep. She rolled over and smashed her fist against the snooze. Five more minutes, that was all she needed. Okay, ten. But no more. The sun was peeking over the horizon, and soon would burst in through her window. Sleep was over.

Lisa stumbled to the shower; a warm shower on a cold day always felt good. She stood under the water an extra minute, guilty over the waste of the water, but she needed it this morning. Her body wasn’t able to move after a solid week of late nights and Sundays…not to mention the long days she’d been putting in before that to finish off the last project.

Only toast for breakfast. Her deployment of the snooze alarm cost her the ability to charge up with real food, but she would treat herself to a decent lunch. It was going to be her first lunch break in six weeks. She was not going to eat at her desk today. They would have to tie her to her chair to keep her there.

The office was still quiet as she pushed open the door and poked her head in. Monday mornings were always quiet. She could get a lot of work done in the hour before anyone else showed up. She hit the time clock and settled down to recheck what she did last night. She was amazed there were no misspellings or rogue commas. Her thinking was so fuzzy.

The coffee pot was ready, and she allowed herself a minute to lean back with her cup. Monday mornings were nice…and Thursdays, when she also had the office to herself for a couple of hours. Okay, she had to get up so early, but it was worth it to get the time off in the middle of the day so she could go to her class. One more semester. Her research was almost complete, her dissertation was half written, and soon she would have that treasured doctor before her name.

By the time Mark arrived, she had the report printed and ready for him to review. He stared at the three-hundred page document on his desk; he could hardly believe it after so long. He had been working on this report for nine years now. It was way past being late, and the extensions had even run out years ago. She wasn’t sure why he was bothering, since all the data in the report was as out of date as the coffee creamer in the staff lounge.

“Great….good. Great.” Mark seemed unable to speak, as if in awe that this mammoth work had been completed at last.

Lisa resisted the urge to point out that she had done in nine weeks what he had not been able to do in nine years…pull together the data collected a decade ago, run the statistics, assemble the necessary background, and produce a finished report. She went back to her office and waited for his comments. She would work on something else while she waited for his suggested edits.

Mark didn’t poke his head into her office for three days. Every time she saw him, he had his head bent over the massive pile of paper she gave him, poring through it to hone in on the slightest of mistakes, red-pencil a single i that didn’t have a dot over it, or a single t that wasn’t crossed. He wasn’t able to write it himself, but he certainly was able to figure out everything she did wrong.

When she got back from class on Thursday, he was in her office. “Good job”, he said. “You finished it up nicely.”

Finished it up? It was thirteen pages long when she started, and most of that had to be rewritten. Oh, well, she wouldn’t point that out; she learned a long time ago not to challenge men and burst their egos. They would never forget it, and they would punish you forever. “Thank you”, was all she said.

“I sent it off this morning”, he told her, grabbing a piece of candy she kept on her desk. She didn’t eat it herself; she brought it for the men in the office. “We’ll be able to close that one out as soon as they approve it.”

“How long will that be?”

“It depends on how many changes they want”, he said. “They never let a report go off without major changes. I’ll send it on to you as soon as I hear back.”

Lisa nodded, and forgot about the report. She had other jobs to do, and she was glad to put that behind her. A project dumped on her desk barely done, a decade past the due date, and data too incomplete to make sense of in places…it had been a nightmarish job. She was glad to see it go, but she also felt a swelling of pride. She was wrapping up her internship with a bang. Only two years here, and she felt like she had learned and done so much. She could point to her completed projects and say “I did that”.

It was two weeks later before she thought about the report again. Mark was in her office waiting when she came to work, his feet resting on her desk as he leaned back in her chair. “Heard back from the EPA”, he said, as casually as though he was reporting that it was raining.

“Well?” she said when he paused too long for comfort.

“It was…well, they started off their commentary with something I have never heard from the EPA before, on any report I’ve ever sent them.” He frowned.

“Oh. How many changes do they want?” Lisa pushed his feet off her desk and tipped him out of her chair. She had really gotten bold lately.

“Well…let’s just say…it’s the first time in the history of this office…the entire archive of reports in the store room…that one of them will go into the files with a letter saying…” He paused again, frowning at her. She groaned. She had done something so horrible, she wouldn’t have a prayer of getting a permanent job. “…it’s the first time ever they have started their response letter by saying ‘This is a very well written report.’” He grinned.

“What?” Lisa wasn’t sure she heard him right.

“You heard me. Zero changes…well, except they said that rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents. You’ll need to change that.” He bounced out of her office to share his triumph with the rest of the staff.

“Rabbits. Wait…I didn’t write that part!” He didn’t hear; he was down the hall crowing about his success to the receptionist.

Lisa glowed. Zero changes, except one thing in the part she hadn’t written. Well, she probably should have checked that out. As a plant biologist, she had assumed the zoologist knew what rabbits were, and left it. She opened the file on her computer, highlighted rabbits, and moved them into their correct classification. She sent the file to her boss, and settled to her current project. This one was only three years behind. Right on time, by Mark’s standards.

Over lunch, she completed the application for the job that was open upstairs. As an intern finishing her internship, she was first on the list for any job. It should be hers without any difficulty, but they still had to go through the application and interview process. It was a formality. She had been told from the very beginning that being hired as an intern was a foot in the door, and the only reason she wouldn’t get hired permanent was if there was no job. Well, there was, and she was ready. She hit the send button on the application form and returned to work just as her lunch time was over.

Mandy took her out to lunch the next day. “I heard about the report”, she said. “Congratulations. Of course, you know Mark is taking credit.”

“I know. I mean, it’s technically his project and his report. I just…cleaned up his writing.”

“Bull. You wrote the report. Claim it, girl.”

Lisa shook her head. “I don’t want to create trouble, not when I’m…well, I applied for that job…you know, the one on second floor?”

“You…did anybody tell you?” Mandy leaned forward conspiratorially.

“Tell me what?”

“They don’t hire women.”

“Wait, what? Of course they do. I mean, they hired you, right?”

Mandy shook her head. “No. I was here when the current administration arrived. They’re stuck with me. No woman has been put on permanent since me.”

“But…there are all sorts of women working here.” I stopped to count them. “There’s…no, she’s temporary. But Anna…no, wait, she’s an intern…”

“Thirty men…one woman. All the rest of the women are either temps or interns. It makes them look diverse…without actually having to give women the good jobs. They can give you crap jobs…like cleaning up that nasty report…and of course you’ll do it. You’re an intern. You want a job. Right?” Mandy held her eyes as though daring her to disagree.

Lisa nodded, slowly. “Yeesss. I guess. I mean, I don’t mind editing Mark’s writing…but sometimes it’s more than editing, right? But I like writing. And I love the project he gave me…that was responsible, and cutting edge. I really learned a lot.”

“Yes, and you did a hell of a lot of work for damn little pay.” Mandy sat back and crossed her arms. “Now you are ready to convert to permanent. But…don’t expect it.”

“I…I’m qualified for that job. How can they pass me over?”

“They’ll find a way. Watch.” Mandy relented at the look on Lisa’s face. “Look, I could be wrong. You are an astonishing woman, and everyone knows how capable you are. So, I’ll make a deal with you. They put you on permanent, and I’ll treat you to…a trip on that riverboat you’ve been wanting to take.”

“I couldn’t let you do that.” Lisa thought it over; why couldn’t she? “Okay, it’s a deal.”

The posting for the job closed, and now she just had to wait for the interview. The morning she got the email, she almost couldn’t open it for the butterflies in her stomach. Seriously, Lisa, get over yourself, she scolded. It’s not going to be a job offer, just an interview date. She opened the email, and stared in disbelieve.

“Dear Ms. Fulton”, the email read. “We are sorry to inform you that the job you applied for has been closed. We are not going to be able to fill the position at this time. Please feel free to apply for any future job openings.” Nothing more. No explanation, nothing. Abrupt and impersonal. Signed by the personnel manager, who had always been pleasant. Lisa wanted to cry.

“I’m sorry.” Mandy was in the doorway. She had already heard. “They told us this morning the job wasn’t going to be filled. No funding, they said.” She spat in the wastebasket. “Yeah.” She disappeared before Lisa could comment.

Lisa began searching all the other state jobs, one by one. She applied time after time, being told by interviewers she was the most qualified applicant they had…and left behind when they hired someone else, presumably less qualified. Until the day she got the call…she had a job offer from another agency. She would be moving from water quality to air quality, for which she was much less qualified, but one thing she knew was how to learn new things. She packed up her belongings, cleared her desk, and turned off the light. Her time here was over.

Lisa settled uneasily into her new job. It didn’t fit her well, and it made little use of her abilities, being mostly an overpaid clerical job, but at least she was working. She went to her training, did her work every day, and filled in the endless hours where there was little to do by learning everything she could about air quality.

She visited her old office, still drawn by the easier, friendlier manner, and discovered her old desk was occupied by a young woman who was eager and ready to embark on a new career. “Just think”, she enthused to Lisa. “When my internship is up, I can convert to permanent if there’s a job open.” Lisa wasn’t sure whether to tell her otherwise; after all, she didn’t really believe her situation was because she was a woman. It was just…well, funding, right?

She passed the job postings on the bulletin board as she left, mostly from idle curiosity. She jerked to attention when her eye was caught by the notice of a job that looked familiar. She read the posting. Yes, it was. The same job she had applied for, the one they weren’t going to fill. She’d been gone less than two weeks, and they had already reposted.

Mandy came up behind her. “I told you”, she said, kindly. “They don’t hire women.”

Lisa called Mandy several weeks later. “Have they hired anyone yet?”

“Yes.” Mandy paused. “It was…a young man who didn’t even meet the minimum qualifications. He just finished his undergraduate, and they hired him in a job that requires a masters.”

“But…how could they do that?” Lisa was breathless.

“Did you know every male intern who has ever worked here has been made permanent?” Mandy growled, then continued. “Funny what they can do when someone has a penis.”

Lisa hung up and thought about filing a grievance. No, she realized, they had covered themselves. Pulling the job rather than trying to pretend she wasn’t qualified. No doubt they had all the paperwork they needed to back them up. She put the finishing touches on her day’s work, and typed out her resignation letter. She was going to stop doing garbage work for other people. It was time for her to move on.