Day 1

Another March, another marathon. I have my running shoes on, I’m carbed up, and ready to go. If by some unusual confluence of the planets and the stars, women should attain full equality with men before the month is over, I promise I will finish out the month, but it will be celebratory! Since it’s unlikely that will happen, buckle up. We’re going to go fast, and the road is bumpy.

Today, a play. Imagine that! A playwright actually writing a play! This will be the first March that I started with a play, and I doubt it could ever get produced. It would require a middle aged woman to be willing to….oh, but that would be a spoiler. So here, for you, the first of March, the first day of Women’s History Month, and the first piece.

ATTENTION MUST BE PAID

Cast:

AMANDA – female, mid-20s to early 30s
COLIN – male, about Amanda’s age
SAMANTHA – female, Amanda’s mother, middle-aged

Setting: Samantha’s living room, today

 AT RISE:        AMANDA and COLIN are seated at a card table, putting together a puzzle. SAMANTHA is on the sofa, reading a magazine (not a woman’s magazine; news, or sports, or science, or something of that nature).

 AMANDA:   She said there was nothing she could do different. Hah! We all know better.

COLIN: So what did you tell her?

AMANDA: I told her she damn well better get with the program, or I was cutting her from the team.

SAMANTHA:  I think….

COLIN: That’s the way, honey. Don’t let her give you any lip. You’re team leader, she needs to do what you tell her.

SAMANTHA: I need…

AMANDA: Of course, she went crying to HR, said I was discriminating because she was a woman.

SAMANTHA tries to speak once more, but is ignored. She exits.

COLIN: She’s a woman….you’re a woman…why would you discriminate because she’s a woman?

AMANDA: That’s what I said. HR says they have to do an investigation anyway.

SAMANTHA enters dressed as Queen Victoria. She stands between AMANDA and COLIN. They don’t notice.

AMANDA: So I’m on suspension until the investigation is finished.

COLIN: Suspension? But we need your salary!

SAMANTHA: We are not amused.

SAMANTHA exits.

AMANDA: Suspension with pay…when they tried to suspend me without pay, I reminded them of company policy. Remember Jeff? He was accused of sexual assault?

COLIN: Uh huh. That was, what, last year?

AMANDA: Two years ago…they suspended him with pay. The evidence was all there, he was caught on the office security cameras, and they still had to suspend him with pay pending investigation. Section 14.2 of company procedures.

SAMANTHA enters; she is wearing a Darth Vader helmet, still with the Queen Victoria gown. She resumes her position between AMANDA and COLIN.

COLIN: That’s good. I wasn’t sure we’d get by.

SAMANTHA: Perhaps if you got a job…

AMANDA and COLIN ignore her. A puzzle piece falls on the floor. SAMANTHA picks it up, lays it on the table. They don’t notice.

SAMANTHA: Luke…I am your father.

SAMANTHA exits.

AMANDA: The boss told me…he said, Jeff had to support a family. I do too, I said. He said, you have a husband. I told him my husband was laid off, I was the only salary…plus there’s my mother.

SAMANTHA(from off): You don’t support your mother! Your mother supports you! You don’t even pay rent!

COLIN: Didn’t Jeff still have his family when they fired him?

AMANDA: Sort of…his wife left him and took the kids, but he has to pay child support. Anyway, the HR guy told me I didn’t have any kids, so it didn’t count. I read Section 14.2 out loud.

SAMANTHA enters. She is naked. She stands between them again. They continue.

COLIN: So you won that…you’ll be paid.

AMANDA: Until they finish the investigation…then they’ll reinstate me or fire me.

SAMANTHA puts her hand on the puzzle; COLIN moves it off without looking at her. She looks at both of them, starts to exit through the front door of the house.

AMANDA: They’ve been wanting to get rid of me ever since I got promoted.

COLIN: Maybe that job’s just a jinx…first Jeff, now you…

 AMANDA: I don’t think…Mother! What are you doing?

AMANDA closes the door before SAMANTHA can exit.

AMANDA: Everyone will see you!

SAMANTHA: What’s the matter?

AMANDA: You’re…naked!

SAMANTHA: I’ve decided I don’t need clothes anymore.

COLIN: Samantha, what are you up to?

SAMANTHA: Not up to anything. I just decided, since I’m invisible, I might as well save money on clothes…and be comfortable. You need anything from Safeway?

SAMANTHA tries to open the door, but AMANDA blocks it.

AMANDA: You are not invisible…and you are not going out like that.

SAMANTHA: I am too invisible.

COLIN: Come on, Samantha, sit on the sofa. I’ll get you a nice glass of milk. You can rest.

SAMANTHA: I am not a child. I am a full grown woman.

AMANDA: We can see that…everyone can see that…Mother, are you all right? Do you feel…sick? Dizzy?

SAMANTHA: I feel fine…quit fussing over me. I am invisible, but other than that, there’s nothing wrong with me.

AMANDA: Colin, call the ambulance. We need to take her…

SAMANTHA: You are not taking me anywhere. Put down that phone…put it down…that’s it, just lay it on the table…good. Now you two sit and do your puzzle, I’m going shopping.

AMANDA: Okay, Mother, what’s going on? What’s up now?

SAMANTHA: Nothing’s…up. I just decided to take advantage. When I realized neither of you could see me, I figured no one else can, either.

COLIN: What do you mean? Of course we can see you…too much of you. Could you please put on a robe?

SAMANTHA: You can see me, can you? Tell me, what have I been doing while you were putting your puzzle together?

AMANDA: You were sitting on the couch reading…here. Here’s your magazine.

SAMANTHA: How many times did I try to talk to you?

COLIN: You didn’t try to talk to us; you just took off your clothes and started to go shopping. Like that’s a normal thing…

AMANDA: You never said a word. You never left the room…

SAMANTHA: Really? Then where are my clothes?

COLIN: Here…in the kitchen…and…

COLIN puts on the Darth Vader head; he carries the Queen Victoria dress.

AMANDA: Fess up, Mother. Where did you get these things? What are you up to?

SAMANTHA: I bought them online. I decided the next time you ignored me, I was going to make you notice me. I’m tired of being invisible in my own house.

AMANDA: How many times do I have to tell you? You are not invisible.

SAMANTHA: Of course I am…you will be in a few years…just wait. All middle-aged women are invisible…apparently even to their family. I thought about not bringing home any food, not paying the house payment, but that would be too drastic. I don’t want to lose my house. So I thought I would shock you into seeing me…and you did. This is the first time you’ve looked at me in months.

COLIN: That’s ridiculous. We look at you all the time.

AMANDA: No…I…think she’s right. I…think about it, Colin. We sit down at the table, she brings the food in, we talk to each other while we eat. We watch television, sitting on the couch talking to each other. We do puzzles and games and only talk to each other. I never realized it…

SAMANTHA: Finally…you get it. It took drastic measures, but you finally get it…

COLIN: Will you put your clothes back on if we promise to look at you at least twice a day?

SAMANTHA: Don’t patronize me. Isn’t it enough you don’t help me with cleaning, cooking, or shopping, even though I work all day and you are home? If you can’t find a job somewhere else, the least you could do is help around the house.

AMANDA: I’m sorry, Mom. We’ve been…oblivious. You do a lot for us…and if it wasn’t for you, we’d be living in a one room studio apartment with no running water.

SAMANTHA: Nonsense. You make more than enough to have a small house. You don’t want a small house. So you stay here. I don’t mind. I do mind being ignored.

AMANDA: We’ll do better…I promise. Won’t we, Colin?

COLIN: Huh?

AMANDA: I said…we’ll do better…I mean you, too.

COLIN: Sure…of course…I mean…yeah.

SAMANTHA starts getting dressed.

SAMANTHA: That worked so well, I think I’ll try it at the office.

AMANDA: Mother!

END OF PLAY