March 8. It is officially International Women’s Day. I don’t know about you, but I always enjoy all the special treatment I get for Women’s Day. Of course, I’m just kidding. But it’s nice someone thought about us. So for today, I am going to return to my Feminazi series. If it continues to grow, it will be too long to be a play. It will have to be…an epic. Yes, that’s what it will be. An epic. To remind you how the characters go, Feminazi represents….well, she represents a woman who tries to stand up for herself and her friends in a world made for men. Woman represents all the other women, sometimes on her side, helping her, sometimes on the side of those who would keep Feminazi down. Man 1 and Man 2 represent the patriarchy; in this movement, presented as women who act as enablers for whatever reasons they have. White Knight is the ally, trying to help, but getting it wrong more often than not.

This movement, which at this point occupies scene 10 in the play (they move around as I add movements) is inspired by news events that crop up periodically. I currently hear very little about the Magdalene laundries; the world has moved on. I thought it was time to remind everyone. And what better day than Women’s Day?

MOVEMENT 10: FEMINAZI DOES THE LAUNDRY

 

NOTE: In this movement, MAN 1, MAN 2, and WHITE KNIGHT will be cross dressing as women. The movement should be played as though they are women, and not men acting as women. It should not be played for laughs.

 SETTING:  A dark, dirty laundry in Galway County, Ireland. Tables for folding, washing machines, and enormous mangles for ironing. Perhaps some brown paper for wrapping folded laundry.

 AT RISE:    WOMAN is ironing, but is straining to manage the enormous mangle. She is pregnant, nine months. Steam rises from the hot, wet laundry. Her long hair is tied up in a bun, but strands have escaped and are framing her face. The image makes her look delicate. Her face is red from the heat.

FEMINAZI is using the wringer. She also has her hair up, and it is also escaping. She is as red as WOMAN, but not pregnant.

 WOMAN: Oooohhhhhh!

 FEMINAZI: Are you okay?

 WOMAN: That’s…I’m….fine.

 FEMINAZI: That’s the third one today.

 WOMAN: I….you don’t think…I think…I might be losing the baby.

 FEMINAZI: Can I do something?

 WOMAN: No, I don’t think so…I…what would you do?

 FEMINAZI: Should I call the nuns?

 WOMAN: Please…don’t.

 FEMINAZI: They might be able to help…you know, save the baby, or something.

 WOMAN: I don’t want them to save the baby!

 FEMINAZI: Oh!

 WOMAN: Sorry. I…didn’t say that. Don’t tell them, okay?

 FEMINAZI: Here. Sit for a minute. You can rest.

 FEMINAZI helps WOMAN sit on the pile of laundry. MAN 1, dressed as a nun, rushes in immediately.

 MAN 1: What are you doing sitting? You haven’t finished your work yet.

 FEMINAZI: She was in pain…I thought…

 MAN 1: You aren’t here to think…if you knew how to think, you never would have run away. You wouldn’t be here, you’d be safely back at the convent.

 FEMINAZI: I didn’t want to be at the convent!

 MAN 1: You should have thought of that before.

 MAN 1 exits.

 FEMINAZI: Thought of that? How could I have thought of that?

 WOMAN: Why? What did you do to get here?

 FEMINAZI: I ran away.

 WOMAN: I know that…but before…to get into the convent.

 FEMINAZI: I was born there…my mother…she wasn’t married.

 WOMAN: So you’re a child of sin?

 FEMINAZI: I guess. That’s what they say. I’m no good…I’ll never be any good, but if I…

 WOMAN and FEMINAZI say the rest together, as if a mantra they have been taught.

 FEMINAZI and WOMAN: …work hard, say my prayers, and obey the nuns, I might be able to gain salvation when I die.

 WOMAN: We’d better get back to work….ooooohhhhhh!

 FEMINAZI: I’ll take the iron. You do the wringer. At least you can kneel.

 WOMAN: You’re…why are you so kind to me?

 FEMINAZI: We’re friends, right?

 WOMAN: I…I suppose since I’m here now, I can be friends with someone like you. I guess I’m no better anymore….don’t you miss your mother?

 FEMINAZI: I don’t know my mother. They said she gave me away, because I’m no good.

 WOMAN: Well, my baby will know her mother…I wouldn’t give her away for any reason. Oooooohhhhhhhh! Ooooooohhhhhhh! Ooooooohhhhhhh!

 WOMAN collapses, holding her belly. It is obvious to people more sophisticated than the two young women that she is in labor.

 FEMINAZI: Help! Oh, someone, help! She’s dying!

 MAN 2 rushes in, also dressed as a nun, the Mother Superior. MAN 1 is close behind.

 MAN 2: Move aside, girl, let me get a look…don’t be ridiculous. She’s not dying. Here, help me.

 MAN 1 and MAN 2 lift WOMAN and lay her on the table. They examine her.

 MAN 2: She’s ready. Help me get her to the infirmary.

 FEMINAZI: What’s wrong with her? Is she going to die?

 MAN 1: Don’t be stupid. Of course she isn’t going to die. She’s going to have her baby. Now get back to work, and don’t spend any more time thinking about her.

 MAN 1 and MAN 2 carry WOMAN out.

 WOMAN: Ooooooohhhhhhh! Ooooooohhhhhhh! Ooooooohhhhhhh!

 FEMINAZI watches until they are out of sight, then picks up the iron and begins ironing as the lights dim.

 Later that day. FEMINAZI is wrapping the clean laundry in brown paper for delivery. MAN 2 enters.

 MAN 2:  Here, give me that. They’re here to pick it up…and I have something else for you for a couple of days. You’re going to clean the priest’s office. He says he likes how clean you get his surplice, you could surely do as well on his floors.

 MAN 2 exits, carrying the laundry in one hand, pulling FEMINAZI along with the other.

 Several months later. WOMAN, no longer pregnant, is once again ironing. FEMINAZI, now visibly pregnant, though only a few months, is at the wringer.

 WOMAN: And today, I got to visit Bridget for thirty minutes…she’s looking good, and she smiled at me.

 FEMINAZI: Don’t you get to see her everyday, when you feed her?

 WOMAN: Yes, but this was just her and me, and I just sat and talked to her. I told her all my dreams.

 FEMINAZI: What are your dreams?

 WOMAN: Before I came here, I was working as a nanny for a little boy. I planned to marry my Colm and work with him on the farm.

 FEMINAZI: I have such big dreams…bigger than the earth…bigger than the sky.

 WOMAN: But you’re a woman. Women only have little dreams.

 FEMINAZI: Why? I’m as strong and smart as any man I’ve met…

 WOMAN: That’s funny. How many men have you met?

 FEMINAZI: Just the priests…

 WOMAN: Oh, yeah. So you dream about forcing women to take their clothes off, and….

 WOMAN breaks off, embarrassed. She stares at FEMINAZI’S belly. FEMINAZI bows her head and begins working the wringer very hard.

 WOMAN: I’m sorry. I didn’t…I shouldn’t…you forgive me?

 FEMINAZI: Of course. How could I be mad at you?

 MAN 1 and MAN 2 enter; WHITE KNIGHT is with them, also a nun. He is wearing the white veil of a novice.

 MAN 1: And this is the laundry. The women work here to pay for their keep, and to help them gain redemption for their sins. It will be your job to watch them, and to take the clean laundry to the truck.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Hello. What’s your name?

 MAN 2: You shouldn’t talk to them like that. These are broken women. They don’t deserve your pity. They need to repent.

 WHITE KNIGHT: But…they’re just girls.

 MAN 1: Just girls? That one…just had a baby. And you can see the sin of the other one still written on her body.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Oh! But…they’re so young, they probably didn’t know.

 MAN 2: They are well past the age of reason. You know that.

 WHITE KNIGHT: I know. But…

 MAN 1: Put your compassion away. We must be firm with these girls. We must make an example of them, and we must save their souls. Only hard work and discipline…

 MAN 2: Maybe you shouldn’t come here for a while. You are still soft. You need to toughen up.

 MAN 1 and MAN 2 exit, WHITE KNIGHT trailing behind. As WHITE KNIGHT exits, FEMINAZI whispers to him.

 FEMINAZI: Help me!

 WHITE KNIGHT gives her a look of compassion, then exits.

 WOMAN: Don’t trust her. She isn’t your friend. She won’t help.

 FEMINAZI: If the nuns won’t help, and the priests just… (            FEMINAZI stares at her stomach.) Who can I trust?

 WOMAN: Trust me.

 Lights dim. Music plays, a hymn in the darkness. Time passes.

 Two years later. FEMINAZI, no longer pregnant, is ironing. WOMAN is at the wringer. WHITE KNIGHT, still in his novice habit, is watching as though keeping guard.

 FEMINAZI:  (whisper) Hey!

 WOMAN finds a reason to move to FEMINAZI. They whisper.

 WOMAN: What?

 FEMINAZI: What is she doing here? Why is she standing guard on us like this?

 WOMAN: I don’t know. It’s spooky.

 WHITE KNIGHT:  I’m not supposed to let you whisper to each other.

 FEMINAZI: I was just asking her how much starch this one needed.

 WHITE KNIGHT: That’s okay, then. But don’t…

 MAN 1 enters.

 MAN 1: Everything all right in here?

 WHITE KNIGHT: No problems.

 MAN 1: Don’t let them leave until I return.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Really, I don’t know why…

 MAN 1: Just do what you’re told. Don’t talk back.

 MAN 2 enters.

 MAN 2: What are you doing in here? Everything’s ready.

 MAN 1: Just coming along. I wanted to make sure everything was in order.

 MAN 2: She’s got it…you can trust her. Are you excited about taking your vows tomorrow?

 WHITE KNIGHT: I…yes, of course…I am excited…yes, I’m excited.

 MAN 2: Good.

 MAN 1 and MAN 2 exit.

 FEMINAZI: Excuse me, if you don’t mind my speaking.

 WHITE KNIGHT looks at the door before answering.

 WHITE KNIGHT: No, of course not.

 FEMINAZI: You don’t sound happy. Are you sure you want to be a nun?

 WHITE KNIGHT: Of course. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of…it’s what I’ve worked for.

 WOMAN is standing by the dirty window, watching something.

 WOMAN: Hey! Wait! Don’t!

 WOMAN tries to open the window to climb out.

 FEMINAZI: Wait! Don’t!

 WOMAN: Stop them…oh, please, stop them!...Bridget! My baby!

 WHITE KNIGHT and FEMINAZI rush to her side, try to keep her from the window.

 WOMAN: Look! They’ve got Bridget! And Colin!

 FEMINAZI: What? Colin? What are they doing with my boy?

 WOMAN: They’re…oh, no, they’re giving them…that couple….those people…they were here last week, looking at the babies…

 WHITE KNIGHT: They’re adopting the babies…wait, you didn’t know?

 WOMAN: Know? No! I would never…no, I want my baby…bring her back!

 WHITE KNIGHT: They told me you knew…they told me you agreed…you signed her away….

 WOMAN: I didn’t…I wouldn’t!

 WHITE KNIGHT: I saw the paper…you signed it…and you…

 FEMINAZI: I’ll kill you if you don’t let me out of here…I mean it…get out of my way!

 WHITE KNIGHT: I can’t…they’ll…they won’t let you have him back…he belongs to those people now…why did you sign?

 FEMINAZI: Sign what?

 WHITE KNIGHT: The paper…the adoption paper…you signed it.

 FEMINAZI: I didn’t.

 WOMAN: Bridget! Baby!

 FEMINAZI: They made me sign an invoice…said it was for the state, so they could get paid for keeping me here, feeding me.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Didn’t you read it?

 FEMINAZI: Read? I can’t read…can you read?

 WOMAN: No…hey, Mister! That’s my baby! Bring her back!

 MAN 2 enters.

 MAN 2: What is all the noise about? Hey, get away from that window….why didn’t you keep them away from the window?

 MAN 2 is pulling WOMAN away from the window as he speaks. He motions for WHITE KNIGHT to pull FEMINAZI away, but WHITE KNIGHT just stands there, stunned.

 MAN 1 enters and quickly takes in the situation. He grabs FEMINAZI just as she is about to break the window to get out. He holds her with difficulty, her feet flying.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Let them go…they just want their babies…why did you take their babies?

 MAN 1: We didn’t take their babies anywhere…their babies died. In the night. Didn’t you hear?

 WOMAN: No! Bridget didn’t die. I saw her…you gave her to that man…you have no right!

 MAN 2: We have every right. You had no right to have that child, and we aren’t going to keep her here when there are people who will take her home. If they realized she was a sinner…

 WOMAN: Bridget hasn’t sinned!

 FEMINAZI: Or Colin…he didn’t ask to be born…I didn’t ask for him to be born…why won’t you let me have my baby?

 MAN 1: Are you denying that a child born out of wedlock is tainted? Your son will not get into heaven…be grateful the family doesn’t know the children aren’t orphans…they’ll be treated well, just like they’re blessed children.

 WOMAN: I sinned, I know it, but why can’t I have my baby? How can you take her away?

 MAN 2: Sister White Knight, how could you have been so careless as to let these women near that window? Your duty was simple.

 WHITE KNIGHT: You told me to make sure they stayed in here…I had no idea…you said they gave the babies away…

 MAN 2: How dare you speak to me like that? You watch out, or you’ll get what they get…

 MAN 1 has stripped off the belt of his habit and lashes WOMAN with it. MAN 2 holds FEMINAZI, who claws and bites. She gets her teeth into his arm, and he releases her. FEMINAZI races for the door; she gives it a kick, and it falls. She exits at a run, calling for Colin, MAN 2 in pursuit. MAN 1 gives WOMAN one last lash, flings the belt a couple of times in the direction of WHITE KNIGHT, perhaps hitting him, perhaps not, then chases MAN 2. WHITE KNIGHT kneels beside WOMAN, who collapsed on the floor.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Are you all right?

 WOMAN: Oooohhhhh!

 WHITE KNIGHT: Here, let me help you up.

 WHITE KNIGHT gets WOMAN to her feet, and holds her up. The two of them head toward the door.

 WHITE KNIGHT: I’ll get you back to your room.

 WOMAN: No, I need to stay here…they’ll beat me if I leave before the end of my shift.

 WHITE KNIGHT: They couldn’t expect you in your condition…

 WOMAN lifts her skirt and shows WHITE KNIGHT the scars on her legs from where she has been beaten in the past.

 WHITE KNIGHT: ….oh my.

 WHITE KNIGHT releases WOMAN, who leans against the table and picks up the mangle to go back to ironing.

 WHITE KNIGHT: Let me do that for you.

 WOMAN pushes him away. WHITE KNIGHT watches her for a minute. She is barely able to lift the iron but she keeps on duty. WHITE KNIGHT looks out the window, then off to where MAN 1 and MAN 2 have captured FEMINAZI. As MAN 1 and MAN 2 drag FEMINAZI back in, beating her every step, WHITE KNIGHT removes his veil, flings it on the floor, and exits.

 WHITE KNIGHT: I have not been called to be a nun.

 END OF MOVEMENT 10