Tonight, with a lot of things I’d like to say and no idea how to say them, or why, I opened my email. I decided I would select a word from the subject lines and use that as a basis for my piece. Since it is election year, a word that was showing up over and over was support. Tonight’s short story is about support, and a story that isn’t always the way things go, but I have seen similar more than once.

SUPPORT

Zoe applauded the loudest as Blaze walked across the stage and received his diploma. He worked for this day; she worked for this day. She was happy to support him, and glad that now he would start a new job and would be able to support her while she went to school. They  made the deal the day they got engaged. “Fair is fair”, he said. She agreed. Now there he was, looking so smart in his mortarboard and gown, the honors sash draped across his chest like a beacon. She wanted to elbow the person next to her and tell them about his new job, an offer coming before he even finished.

The ceremony over, she rushed to find him. He was surrounded by friends, many of them still working on their degrees, all of them wishing him luck. He spotted her and his eyes lit up. “Zoe! Come meet everyone!” He paraded her around the circle of friends, showing off the beautiful wife. “Isn’t she just the best looking woman you’ve ever seen?” he enthused.

At breakfast in the morning, she brought up the deal. “I think it’s time for me to quit my job and go back to school.” She couldn’t believe she sounded so timid; it’s not like she was asking for something unfair.

“Not yet, honey, not yet. Until we get a little more settled, and I’m past probation, we need you to keep working. I promise, it won’t be long.” Blaze patted her hand. She glared at him; she wasn’t two.

Lana, who was two, tugged at her sleeve. “Mama! Potty!” Zoe glanced over at Blaze; part of the deal was that he would start helping with kids and housework once he finished. He stared at his eggs and made no attempt to move. She took their daughter to the bathroom and helped her out of her ‘big-girl’ panties. She was nearly potty trained now; she rarely had an accident.

Summer was over; the new semester was starting. Blaze fit in well at his new job; he liked them, they liked him. He was making good money for the first time in his life, but insisted they needed the salary Zoe brought in from her fast food job. “If you were just at minimum wage, we might be able to spare it”, he told her. “But you’re an assistant manager now. The money is much better.”

When the New Year came, Zoe broached the subject again. Blaze was past his probation, and was getting glowing reviews. They had enough saved to put a down payment on a house, and maybe even finance a new car. He listened, but insisted they were still in a spot where they needed her money. If it wasn’t for her salary, he said, they wouldn’t be saving anything.

By the time summer came again, Zoe was pregnant. The advent of their second child put her school plans on hold, even as she continued to work long hours at her job. They were looking for a house, and Blaze was driving to work in a new car. “This isn’t a good time to start school”, she sighed, staring at her growing belly in the mirror. “I’ll wait another year.”

The subject came up every year, and every year, Blaze was willing, if they didn’t need the money. Zoe pointed out that they lived on her salary alone while he went to school, and he was making at least five times what she was. He still wasn’t ready to put the family in a bad financial situation. She sat down with pen and paper and calculated a budget with only his salary, but he found flaws in her calculations, flaws based on unrealistically high estimates for household costs. She put her dreams away again.

Lana was about to start junior high school when Zoe finally had enough. She enrolled at the school, and informed Blaze she quit her job. “A deal is a deal”, she told him. “Fair is fair, like you said before we got married.” He started to protest, but she’d had enough. “We live like kings, and what we put away each month is more than my salary. We might have to save a little less for a few years, but we can get by. We could also stop eating out three times a week; that would allow us to continue putting a lot into savings while not changing our lifestyle.” By now, she quit pointing out that they could sacrifice a little lifestyle while she went to college; Blaze had never accepted that. He wasn’t ready to go back to the poverty they used to live in, he always said. No matter that his salary was so good now that there was no risk of poverty.

She came home the next day, carting the books for the classes she signed up for. Blaze was home; he stayed home from work sick and didn’t get out of bed. “I think I’m dying”, he whispered. She checked his temperature; there was no fever. He had not vomited, but claimed to be feeling poorly. She drove him to the doctor.

“Can I speak to you alone?” Dr. Spencer asked Zoe.

“Sure…I guess.” Zoe was nervous; that sounded bad.

When Blaze was out of the room, the doctor asked her if there had been any changes in their life lately. She explained about starting school. “I haven’t started yet”, she said. “I just enrolled, and told him last night I was quitting my job to finish school.”

“That explains it.” Dr. Spencer was enigmatic.

“Explains what?”

“It’s obvious Blaze isn’t physically ill. He is experiencing some sort of emotional distress. The thought of you being educated is eating at him; he’s afraid you’ll get a good job and leave him. He feels guilty about not supporting you through school, but the guilt is easier to bear than the fear.”

“You got all that from a single examination?” Zoe looked doubtful.

“No, actually, I have lunch with Blaze several times a month.” Dr. Spencer smiled at her. “He hasn’t said anything about your school, not specifically, but he does talk about his worries a lot. He doesn’t want you to go to school, that would be my guess. There are men there, young men, virile men, and he worries because you’re attractive.”

“He doesn’t trust me?” Zoe was astonished.

“No. He doesn’t trust any woman. His mother left his abusive father at the first moment she was able. He didn’t really blame her, but a series of divorces among his friends at work has convinced him women are fickle. He only knows the man’s side of the divorce, of course. If he heard the woman’s side, he might not believe it, because he believes all the things they tell him.”

“What should I do?”

“Go to school. Don’t lean on him, because he won’t support you. I can’t advise you what you should do about your marriage; I don’t know what you want. But you need to do school. If not, you will grow bitter and unhappy, and that’s not only not good for a marriage, it’s not good for you.” The doctor shook her hand and told her there wasn’t any prescriptions for Blaze. “A good kick in the seat of the pants might be the best treatment.”

Zoe stood at the back of the auditorium, waiting. Blaze promised he’d be there, watch her get her diploma. Lana kept texting her father, but didn’t get an answer. “He better be here!” she growled.

“If he’s not…it’s not the end of the world.” Zoe tried to convince herself, but it had been a difficult time with Blaze failing to support her, not helping with the kids, and not doing any housework. He sank more and more into himself, and spent much of his time elsewhere.

“There he is!” Chase spotted his father. “What’s he doing?”

“Crying.” Zoe ushered her children to their seats. “Leave him alone. If he wants to see the ceremony, he’ll come in.”

At the end of the ceremony, Blaze came looking for her. She was surrounded by a circle of friends and family. Her mother glared at him and moved to intercept, but Zoe told her to leave it. He stood behind her, not joining them, not wanting to be introduced. She invited him to join her and her mother and the kids for a celebration dinner, but he said he didn’t feel well. He slouched away as she posed for photos. He didn’t come home that night.

The end came quickly. Zoe didn’t want to use his money to get her degree and then walk out on him, but he left her no choice. He became angry and mean, and nothing could make it better. The day he hit her, she took the kids and walked out. She never returned, not even to claim her belongings. They started a new life somewhere else.

Chase brought his fiancé home to meet his mother and sister. “She’s gonna support me through school”, he said. “Then I’m gonna support her.”

Zoe had a heart-to-heart with her daughter-in-law to be. “My advice to you”, she said. “You go to school first. Then support him through.” The young woman took the advice. By the time Chase started school, his wife had a good enough job to support him and any children they might have. Their marriage was one of the best Zoe had seen.