Marriage is for the man;
He benefits from the union.
Woman loses her independence,
Her name,
Often her property.
She becomes “Mrs.”
He stays the same.
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
My mother told me every story begins with a single word. “What’s the word that starts my story?” I was only six; could I understand? She didn’t answer. She couldn’t look at me. “Mama! What word starts my story?” I stomped my foot. It might be temper tantrum time.
“You…you’re too young to know.”
“You always tell me something, then say I’m too young.” I put the pout in my voice; temper tantrum would be the next step.
Read More“You have no rights. You gave up all your rights when you became pregnant.” He slammed the door and slid into the front seat. He hit the lights and siren even though they were on a country road with no cars in sight.
Read More“Pinkie war? Just like a woman.” Norman sneered. “I think…wrestling. Baby, you made the biggest mistake of your life. I’m gonna pin you, and then I’m gonna show you the science. Men are simply bigger, smarter, and stronger than women.”
Read MoreI reject.
I challenge.
I ignore.
I dissent.
When I was a teenager, I somehow imagined by now the default would be women and men finding an equality, and men possessing their wives would be an outlier. I assumed we would not have to hold our breaths as the Supreme Court decided our reproductive future for us. I assumed we would not worry about the changing of Congress every two years because someone was up for election that had a desire to shove women back into the kitchen. Well, we all know what they say about assuming.
Read MoreI’ve often wondered why so many women like the movie Grease so well. I know women who are almost obsessed with it, refusing to miss it the 107th time on television. They know all the words to every song, and can emote along with the characters because every word is burned into their memory. I thought at first it might be John Travolta, but I don’t see an equal obsession with other Travolta films, so it must be something else.
Read MoreThey found her diary under her bed. Maybe it held some clue. Every day, every entry, was the same, the description of an ordinary life, what sounded to most of the cops like a peaceful life. A housewife’s life. On one page, she drew a copy of her college degree. She had a doctorate in chemistry, but according to the entry for that day, she used it only for not accidentally mixing acids and bases while cleaning. Another page contained a drawing of a drowning woman, but a complete search of her history showed a lack of tragedy. “An ordinary life”, they all agreed.
Read MoreWhy is the woman tired?
What do women do all day?
I imagine the TV was on,
Her feet were up,
And she sipped hot tea.
Why should a woman be tired?
As I am writing this, I am reminded of that scene from the movie Carrie, where she is frightened because she just started her period and doesn’t know what’s happening. Instead of sympathy and help, she gets mockery, as the girls crowd her in the shower, throwing tampons and pads at her, shouting “plug it up”. She cowers in the corner. Her mother, when she hears, screams invectives about her being a bad girl. No one is willing to help her understand what is happening. Of course, the most famous scene follows…she is at the prom, elected prom queen through the scheming of her classmates, and while she stands there, flowers in her arms, tiara on her head, smiling perhaps for the first time in the movie, someone dumps a bucket of pig blood on her. We all know what happens next. No one lives through the movie except one girl…and it wasn’t Carrie.
Read MoreLike a waterfall
A woman’s tears,
Her grief transparent,
Her loss extreme.
You probably heard all your life…sticks and stones, and all that nonsense. Don’t believe it. Words hurt. Pain hurts. Words designed to elicit pain are going to hurt, and it isn’t weakness, it isn’t letting them hurt you. That is an excuse designed to put the onus for your pain back on you. I didn’t let them hurt me; I had little choice. Could I have been tougher? Could I have let it flow off my back? No, I don’t think I could. I didn’t have the strength of knowing I was loved, knowing I was valued, knowing I had a support system. Some women have that, and are able to do it. They shouldn’t have to.
Read MoreTonight’s poem comes from a Mondegreen. If you don’t know what a Mondegreen is, it refers to the misheard lyrics of a song, you know, like Round John Virgin. I don’t remember what the song was, or who the singer, or even what the real line was. Whatever it was, I misheard it as “Misogyny paved the way”. So tonight, a poem based on a line I didn’t hear right.
Read MoreNine months…for a woman, what does it mean?
If she is a mother, it is the length of gestation.
If she is a teacher, it is the length of the school year.
If she is…well, I’m not sure if it has more meanings.
I’m kicking the habit.
Not smoking – I already don’t.
Not drinking – why would I?
No, the greatest vice I have…
And I’m kicking the habit today.
I read. A lot. Some of the books I read are feminist books, and I’ve noticed something, especially among the younger feminists. There is a tendency to say that no woman should have to be perfectly feminist all the time; she can make some choices that are not, in fact, feminist, some choices that might even be stereotypes of what a woman is. I agree. I have noticed another thing, however. They are always willing to carve out an exception for whatever it is they like…lipstick, high heels, perfume…but they are quick to condemn other women’s choices of where they prefer to be, shall we say, traditional?
Read More“No. And neither are you. I’ve worked here ten years, I do not know what is behind that door. If you try to open it again, you will no longer volunteer here.” Jocelyn tried to soften up her words. She understood what the girl was feeling; curiosity was a strong emotion, and she felt it many times. The only time she tried to go in, she was written up with a warning that transgressions were grounds for termination. “What’s your name?” She wanted to make the girl feel at home.
Read MoreWomen have a short shelf life.
We are marked by
Implicit decay.
So, what do I think I would have done if I had the proper environment for me? Sailing a boat across the Atlantic to visit Europe. A small boat, just one or two of us (I really didn’t think I would get married, so my childhood dreams tended to include just me). Skydive. Hang glide. Climb a mountain. Visit every continent. Maybe I would have been a hippie; I was in the right generation for it. Maybe I would have learned to dance, not ballroom dancing, but the fast dances. Maybe I would have been a feminist from early on instead of waiting until I was an adult to become involved.
Read More